Kids Jokes

Animal Jokes For Kids That Will Quack You Up

Jokes for kids with monkeys, elephants, giraffes, tigers and many more zoo animals.  I searched online to find some of the funniest kid’s jokes for children of all ages. Some of these jokes have been around for years and some I never heard of. Have fun and enjoy!

 

Jokes for kids - Children SongsElephant Jokes For Children

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? 
A: Time to fix the fence!

Q: Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
A: So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

Q: What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at a movie?
A: Miss most of the film.

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Did you ever try to iron one?

Q: What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
A: Get out of its way!

Q: What is gray and blue and very big?
A: An elephant holding it’s breath!

Q: What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you?
A: Ten after one!

Q: What wears glass slippers and weighs over 4,000 pounds?
A: Cinderellephant

Q: What was the elephant’s favorite sport?
A: Squash

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: You take away its credit cards!

Q: What’s the best thing to do if an elephant sneezes?
A: Get out of its way!

Q: What do you do with a blue elephant?
A: You try and cheer her up

Q: What’s as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: An elephant’s shadow!

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming Trunks!

Q: What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
A: None. It just lets out a little wine.

Q: What games to ants play with elephants?
A: Squash!

Q: What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? A: Annette!

Q: Why can’t elephants go swimming at the beach?
A: Because they can’t keep their trunks up.

Q: Why did the elephant put skates on before he went to bed?
A: Because he wanted to get rolling in the morning.

Q: What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn’t pay his bill?
A: “Pack your trunk and clear out!”

Q: What’s big and grey with horns?
A: An elephant marching band!

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q: You’re riding a horse at full speed. A giraffe is beside you, an elephant in front of you, and a lion behind you! What do you do?
A: You get off the carousel!

Q: What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
A: An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

Q: Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A: Because they are so hard to iron.

Q: How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?
A: You ice cream is lumpy.

Q: How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
A: Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Q: What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
A: The police made him bring it back!

Q: What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A: A smellyphant

Q: What do you call a monkey with an elephant on his head?
A: Squashed

Q: What kind of elephants live in Antartica?
A: Cold ones.

Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: He sits on a leaf and waits until autumn.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over Australia.

Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails different colors?
A: So he could hide in the jelly bean bowl.

Q: How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A: When your nose touches the ceiling.

Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
A: An elephant can have fleas but a flea can’t have elephants.

Q: What do you do with a green elephant?
A: Wait until it ripens.

Q: What’s the difference between an elephant and a grape?
A: A grape is purple.

Q: What has 3 tails, 4 trunks, and 6 feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts.

Q: What’s as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A: An elephant’s shadow.

Q: Why are elephants gray?
A: So you can tell them apart from flamingos.

Q: What’s gray and stands in the rains but doesn’t get wet?
A: An elephant with an umbrella.

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly carrying suitcases.

Q: What’s gray and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds?
A: An elephant with hiccups.

Q: What’s the difference between an elephant and a banana?
A: You wouldn’t want to try to peel an elephant.

Q: What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
A: Big ones

Q: How do you fit five elephants into a car?
A: Put two in the front seat, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

Q: What’s gray and goes round and round?
A: An elephant in a washing machine.

Q: How does an elephant get out of a small car?
A: The same way that he got in.

Q: Why do elephants have wrinkly ankles?
A: Because their shoes are too tight.

Q: What’s blue and has big ears?
A: An elephant at the North Pole.

Q: What’s gray with red spots?
A: An elephant with the measles.

Q: What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
A: The police made him bring it back.

Q: How do you raise a baby elephant?
A: With a fork lift.

Q: What’s gray and lights up?
A: An electric elephant.

Q: What’s the difference between an injured elephant and a thunderstorm?
A: One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

 Monkey Jokes For Kids

Q: What did the orangutan call his first wife? Monkey Jokes Zoo Animal Songs
A: His prime-mate.

Q: Why did the monkey like the banana?
A: Because it had appeal!

Q: What did the banana say to the monkey?
A: Nothing, bananas can’t talk!

Q: What do monkeys do for laughs?
A: They tell jokes about people!

Q: What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
A: Anything you want, it can’t hear you!

Q: What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
A: It won’t be long now.

Q: Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
A: To a retailer!

Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Q:Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
A: The elevator was broken!

Q: Where do chimps get their gossip?
A: On the ape vine!

Q: What key won’t open any door?
A: A monkey!

Q: How do you catch a monkey?
A: Climb a tree and act like a banana!

Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Q: Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
A: Anywhere it wants!

Q: What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A: A chipmunk.

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A monkey with a machine gun.

Q: What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A: Baboom!

Q: Why did the monkey like the banana?
A: Because it had appeal!

Q: Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?
A: The outside

Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.

Q: What do you tell a bad monkey?
A: Stop chimping about.

Q: Did you hear about the man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: He was a monkey’s uncle.

Q: Did you hear about the awful jungle party?
A: Somebody forgot to bring the chimps and dip.

Q: Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
A: To a retailer!

Q: What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face?
A: A Monkey Business.

Q: Who was the gorilla’s favorite American President?
A: Ape-raham Lincoln.

 

Kangaroo Jokes Zoo Animal SongsKangaroo Jokes That Are Hopping Funny

Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A: A jumprope!

Q: How do sick kangaroos get better?
A: They have a hoperation!

Q: How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
A: In the long jump.

Q: Where do kangaroos like to eat?
A: At ihop!

Q: What game do kangaroos play?
A: Hop-scotch

Q: What kind of music do kangaroos listen to?
A: Hip Hop

Q: What do stylish kangaroos wear?
A: Jumpsuits!

Q: What’s a kangaroos favorite candy?
A: Lollihops!

Q: What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
A: Hop on!

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can’t jump!

Q: When do kangaroos celebrate birthdays?
A: During leap year.

Q: How do you serve a kangaroo a sandwich?
A: In pocket bread

Q: What happened to a nearsighted kangaroo?
A: She fell in love with a pogo stick.

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
A: A jump rope.

Q: What did an angry kangaroo do?
A:Got hopping mad.

Q: What happened to a nearsighted kangaroo?
A: She fell in love with a pogo stick.

Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
A: A jump rope.

Q: What hops around the outback, crowning at sunrise?
A: The kanga-rooster.

Q: What do kangaroos use to play video games?
A: Their pocket change.

Q: What did the mother kangaroo say when her baby was kidnapped?
A: Someone picked my pocket.

Q: Why did the kangaroo lose the basketball game?
A: He ran out of bounds.

Train and Title GroupedFunny Zoo Animal Jokes

Q: What is a rabbit’s favorite kind of music?
A: Hip-hop.

Q: What is a llama’s favorite drink?
A: Llama-nade.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.

Q: What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?
A: Hop in.

Q: What do you get from an angry shark?
A: As far away as possible.

Q: What is a crocodile’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-ade.

Q: What did the buffalo say to his little boy when he left for work?
A: Bi-son.

Q: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A: At the baa baa shop.

Q: Why can’t you find a good animal doctor?
A: Animals have a hard time getting into medical school.

Q: Why did the rabbit go to the doctor?
A: Because he felt jumpy.

Q: Where do rabbits go when they are sick?
A: To the hopital.

Q: What did the dog do when a man-eating tiger followed him?
A: Nothing. It was a man-eating tiger, not a dog-eating one.

Q: When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what should you do?
A: Take the words right out of his mouth.

Q: What does a dog become after it is six years old?
A: Seven years old.

Q: What dog can jump higher than a tree?
A: Any dog can jump higher than a tree. Trees don’t jump.

Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.

Q: What should you do if you find a jaguar asleep on your bed?
A: Sleep on the sofa.

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn’t give a hoot.

Q: What do you call a leopard with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want, since he can’t hear you anyway.

Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A: They quack up.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cock-a-doodle-doo something.

Q: Where do rabbits buy their clothes?
A: At the hopping mall.

Q: What do you call a bee that can’t make up his mind?
A: A maybee.

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calfeteria.

Q: What kind of bears like to go out in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck.

Q: What fish only swims at night?
A: A starfish.

Q: What’s striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick.

Q: What do cows like to do on Friday nights?
A: Go to the moovies.

Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A sturgeon.

Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
A: Put him in your back yard.

Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone.

Q: What’s the difference between a cougar and a lion?
A: A cougar has the mane part missing.

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do you call young dogs who have come in from the snow?
A: Slush puppies.

Q: How does a lion greet other animals?
A: “Pleased to eat you.”

Q: What did the dog say when he finally caught his tail?
A: “This is the end.”

Q: What happened to the leopard that took a bath three times a day?
A: After a week he was spotless.

Q: How do you make a dog float?
A: Take a glass of soda, then add two scoops of ice cream and a small dog.

Q: What do you call a show full of lions?
A: The mane event.

Q: Why is it better to play a guitar instead of a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Q: What happened to the man who tried to cross a lion with a goat?
A: He had to get a new goat.

Q: What part of a fish weighs the most?
A: Its scales.

Q: How is a cowardly dog like a leaky faucet?
A: They both run.

Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: “Jungle Bells”.

Q: Which animal should you never play cards with?
A: A cheetah.

Q: How does a leopard change its spots?
A: It just gets up and walks over to a new spot.

Q: What happened when the cat ate a ball of yarn?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter what you call him, he still won’t come.

Q:What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: How can a bird with a broken wing land safely?
A: He uses a parrotchute.

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.

Q: What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: Where do hornets and bees go when they are sick?
A: The waspital.

Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: Because he was a little horse.

Q: What is a duck’s favorite part of the evening news?
A: The feather forecast.

Q: What do you call an cow that lives in Alaska?
A: An eskimoo.

Q: What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
A: Lost.

Q: What has four legs and flies?
A: A pig.

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny.

Q: How are bald eagles and leopards alike?
A: Neither can play basketball.

Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.

Q: If you put 20 tigers, 10 gorillas, and 1 elephant in your kitchen, what do you have?
A: A very large kitchen.

Q: Why do birds fly south in Winter?
A: Because its too far to walk.

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